Should I pay my narcissist brother back?

I stole from him because my life is not going well, and I am currently struggling so hard to pay my medical/pet bills. I regret it, and it's my first time ever stealing from someone. He stole big money from my parents in the past, borrowed money from random people but never paid anyone back, and he got away with it coz "he's family, and their son". Now he's angry that it happened to him and claims I stole an amount bigger than what I actually stole, which I have proof that he's wrong. For anyone who don't know, everyone in my family are narcissists, and I live with them, and I'm currently being condemned, and forced to pay that amount. I'm the family scapegoat, and it's so unfair that were both treated so differently. Should I or shouldn't?

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Scribbles · 36-40, F Best Comment

I know the feeling of being the scapegoat in the family. And having anger taken out on me rather then the person they were upset at. And others getting special treatment, etc.

My advice: Be true to yourself.
Don't try to tip the scales of justice one way or the other with your behavior and choices, or excuse your behavior and choices because someone else got away with it, or because they are a crap person. It's easy to feel like you want to make.life fair by taking. It's very easy to take this too far. To take and take and take to try to get what you feel you are owed because people abused and took and took from you. You can get yourself in trouble on that path. So be careful.

Do what is right to you for your own sake. Pay him back or don't for your own sake. Because no matter what you do, they'll be reminding you that you are thief until they die. They won't care of you try to make it right or not. There is no winning by their standards. So you have to decide what is good for your own wellbeing here.

At the end of the day you have to live with your self and your decisions. That can be hard in the moment with emotions running high. And knowing they are crap people.

Objectively speaking: Do you want to be someone who does not pay someone back? Or do you want to be the kind of person who does pay someone back?

bittersweethermit · 36-40, F

@Scribbles Thank you for this. I've already decided to pay him back once I get a job since I know within myself that I'm not him. I'm just upset of always getting the short end of the stick while he always get away with things because he's my mom's favorite. I'm glad someone else understands me, and is not judging me

Scribbles · 36-40, F

@bittersweethermit It's always ok to vent. Sometimes I just have to vent about things too.