I find that moments of joy can come unexpectedly, often not looked for or anticipated. There is a sense of pure grace about them. I think we need to get beyond a world of anticipations and epitaphs. The present moment is elusive and paradoxically is "there/here" when we are unaware.
The ancient Chinese sage Chuang Tzu said that his greatest happiness consisted precisely in doing nothing whatever that is calculated to obtain happiness … Perfect joy is to be without joy … If we ask ‘what ought to be done’ and ‘what ought not to be done’ on earth to produce happiness, he answered that these questions do not have a fixed and predetermined answer to suit every case.
Happiness as an "object" to attain will always be out of reach.
More from Chuang Tzu (as translated by Thomas Merton)
“If you persist in trying
To attain what is never attained
(It is Tao’s gift!)
If you persist in making effort
To obtain what effort cannot get;
If you persist in reasoning
About what cannot be understood,
You will be destroyed
By the very thing you seek.
“To know when to stop
To know when you can get no further
By your own action,
This is the right beginning!”
Anyway, I have waffled enough - or at least, Chuang Tzu has! - so I just wish you happiness.
