When you message someone do you ever consider whether they'd want to talk to you?

Always, and I usually land on “negatory.” 😂 With those rare few who have actually managed to make me feel reasonably welcome with them, I will occasionally pop in. I’m not a chatter that way, though, anyway, as a rule.

I'm not much of an inbox type of person unless I have interaction with them on the board first. Even then, I neglect keeping up with it. If I have something to say though, I have no issue with sending one and don't really think of the outcome. I'm only chatty with people I vibe with too and don't do small talk.

i dont DM anyone unless i have interacted with them in Q and A for awhile. a few months minimum. takes awhile for me to get a feeling of trust and some level of connection.

Yes, and I usually assume they don't want to, hence I almost never take initiative either.

It depends on the person. If it's someone I've built a good relationship with in real life, I don't even question it. If not, I would analyze further.

If I have messaged them before and recieved a mixed response, I would probably not message again for a while. If messaging them makes me feel awkward or creepy, I wouldn't message at all.

I have had girls slide into my dms before. Sometimes it works, others it doesn't. All relative in the end.

I prefer to build a friendship with someone on the threads first. Then I`ll write to them if the need be.

I tend not to reach out to posters in dms unless we’ve already spoken in the public areas. Not saying others shouldn’t—that’s just how I am. I’m more receptive to dms when there’s already a rapport.

Yeah. Oftentimes, I feel like I would just be bothering them.

Since I’m not on the prowl , they tend to answer

I have done it, but yes I try to make sure there’s a good reason like they’ve asked something or I’d like to ask them stuff. I don’t mind people doing it to me, but it can be a bit not nice if they’re weird!

I'm assuming that you got a lot of texts from people you don't like.


I understand it, but lot of people love to take a chance.

I wouldn't have met my best friend if I didn't texted her first.

I'd really rather get to know someone first in the community. I don't have anything much to say to someone I don't know. 🙂

I will go say hello but usually after interacting with them on boards first. If they think I am hideous so be it. .

I usually only initiate DM if it's a continuation of a comments convo or to check in on existing friends.

I'm wary about who I message. I'm more worried about imposing, or being seen as creepy. I'd like to interact with people for a length of time here in public first.

I think if you know you know … the vibe is a big give away, same as the bad vibe that prevents pm’ing someone

You just sense it and know how it rolls

Don’t forget - The cunning type no how to lure their prey and sometimes their prey ends up messing them up lol then they cry and get vengeful .. use tactics etc etc

In the end it ends up being entertainment bc it wasn’t genuine.