For two months I've been waking up in the middle of the night angry, and then I can't get back to sleep until like 5am or later

I love it so much

It's really affecting my work ethic and ability to give a shit about anything.

All I ever wanna do is drink every day (it's the second of two days in a row that I haven't in two weeks)

I had strep throat and was drinking myself to sleep while on antibiotics anyway

Which made me feel worse. I made loads of mistakes at work.

Yesterday my eyelids were swollen from crying so much I was so embarrassed to be at work

I'm just pretty well sick of it and I'm a weak person for even caring this much but whateeeverrrr

I just don't wanna do anything except sleep. So I am gonna do that mostly so that I won't drink at least, then I can start trying to do art again and things

I'm sure lots of people will read this and think I'm being a whiny little bitch, but I am. I am unhappy, I have no drive or passion for whatever. I just wanna sit in a corner and rot