Is this really how people see me here?

@ShadowSister I feel like I do. There’s a girl on this exact thread that seems to think different but the screen shots don’t show that. I don’t know anymore. I’m just really tired and it’s almost lunch, so Imma eat and come back to my room and crash.

@JustGoneNow In consent, we talk about verbal, enthusiastic yes. You literally didn't touch her. It's the internet. So I can't see how it could be a one-for-one. From what I can see, she gave you positive feedback in the moment, you followed up on it, then she felt like it went too far, and she stopped communicating. It's too bad it happened that way. Seems like a difference in expectations, and you both got hurt from it.

@ShadowSister she sort of ghosted and I didn’t even know what happened. I’m a gay girl. Typically 95% of all the girls are not. I’m used to being turned down. All she had to say was no or stop. It does appear a guy either mislead or lied to her that a su!c!de attempt was about her. That definitely muddies the water.

@JustGoneNow I wouldn't fault her that she didn't feel comfortable saying no. Lots of times we feel uncomfortable doing things that others find easy. But she shouldn't fault you for not knowing either. Sending pics of sex toys and making suggestive comments is certainly not sexual assault. And with the context you each provided, it didn't seem predatory either.

It's a lot of negativity to have to slog through in your day. I'm sorry you had to deal with this stuff.

@ShadowSister I tried to make it clear that I understood if she felt like she had to go along with. That sucks and makes me feel really bad too. I apologized at least half a dozen times, but I’m not gonna say I’m a predator, because I’m not. I’m just tired of all that. I am kinda glad she told me, I just wish she’d come to the middle. I still really like her as a person. I also just used the few replies around that event. There’s more pages where she calls me baby and stuff. It doesn’t matter. I’m just really tired now.

@JustGoneNow I didn't feel like it was my place to butt in on that conversation. It looked like you coupled all your apologies with the statement, "...but if you had just told me..." And I get that. Obviously you didn't know, and you would have stopped immediately if you had known. From her perspective, it think it probably blunted the force of the apology. She didn't want to have to justify why she didn't tell you. She just felt like she couldn't.

Also, I'd have to go back and re-read it, but I don't think she called you a predator, did she? That was just the guy above. I think she just said you made her uncomfortable. Those are two different things. One of them is intentional. The other is just failing to read the room... and that after she had given you signals that she was into the conversation.

I've seen you say several times on here that you are a flirt. So I don't think anyone is disputing that. Does your flirting go too far? I never thought so. But two people are coming now and saying yes. One of them is a guy who is just being judgy. The other is someone I respect but don't know well. If there are others who feel like your flirtiness crosses boundaries, then maybe it's something to revisit? So far I mostly just see a lot of people saying they think you're good. None of the women who are supporting you in these comments are the type of people to defend predators.

@ShadowSister 🦋

@JustGoneNow Well that sucks. I'm sorry. Online drama. I hope you are doing okay.

@ShadowSister I still want to be careful, to not make it look like I blame her for the situation. I don’t. She’s 0% to blame. It’s not fair of her to call me a predator, however. As I’m not.

@JustGoneNow I agree

@ShadowSister just something to think about. 🖤

https://similarworlds.com/uncategorized/4432012-So-lets-talk-about-consent-and-victim-blaming?rid=53506548