I am feeling guilty

I think I suffer with a ridiculous guilt complex. I always have. I once had a boss ask me if I was raised Catholic and I said no why and she said she went to Catholic schools growing up and she's never known anyone with such a guilt complex like mine who wasn't Catholic. Was an odd interaction but it's stuck with me. I have always felt guilty for things even things that aren't mine like other people's actions or words like somehow I have guilt by association. Any ways..... I am feeling guilty because a lot of my colleagues and previous colleagues have been laid off. Some colleagues I had worked with for years just recently were laid off last week and they are really upset. I feel guilty because I secretly wish I was laid off, I need the money but I am burned out and have lost all my motivation or drive. I feel guilty because I should be grateful that I have a job when so many people are being let go. I don't feel grateful though and I just feel guilty. I need to find some gratitude and stop feeling guilty. I wasn't the one making the decisions to let people go, and if I could I would give up my job to someone who was let go but they want me specifically because I have the experience and knowledge that some in my field don't have. I also have three different jobs here but if you've read this far thanks for letting me vent about my guilt. I feel like a jerk right now. I hope I can find a place of gratitude soon for my job