I got convinced by a friend… to share a part of my story and offer for others to share theirs.

So here it goes…


Robin William’s death probably wasn’t a huge deal to many of ya. He was loved for his work (especially in film) and many were sad but it was a little different for me. I was at the time hospitalized and It was about three years before I finally got out. I had had a girlfriend there (you’re not supposed to but we were bad,) that had a full mental breakdown some months before and gotten shipped off to a more restrictive ward. I was alone, and still trying to work my program and get out. And I knew he suffered like me and his death was like a hammer to my face. I was really tore up. I ended up spiraling further out and started cutting myself again, and I had one group… where I flipped out on everybody screaming and got tranq’d. Woke up strapped to a bed and just cried for hours. I just wanted to die right there. I never felt so weak. I kept thinking that I can’t do this again. I’m not strong enough… and finally something inside me broke, and I said inside… I have to try. That was the true beginning of me really trying to get out of there. Before I had just wanted more freedom so I could fuck my girlfriend on the stairs… but this was real. I finally wanted out. I finally wanted out, and back into my life. So, I guess in a way I got Mr Williams to thank for me even being here. It broke me so far down that my desperation led to inspiration… and maybe a little bit of healing too. 🖤

This is very emotional for me. Please be kind. I’m trying to use this as a way to heal and feel free to share your own stories if able to. 🦋

PS I don’t really want to answer questions about any of my time there. I did that on a now closed thread a couple months ago and I’m not emotionally ready to do deal through that here today too. Be safe and be well. 🌸

A poem I wrote about my time there.

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/3092495-Horrid-Sound-Horrid-Sound-Bzzzz-kkkk-What-a-horrid