Just ignore them and picture them in bad situations in your head. Like being tied to a chair watching re runs of crap tv shows, or maybe being chased by a tiger whilst wearing a clown costume and a stupid hat. Either works.

You have to do it all in your head.
Every time they kick off you just keep quiet and say to yourself...."Seriously ? YOU'RE the sperm that won ???"

Deep breaths never work. I end up shouting profanity and self harming. I might also start scribbling sporadic thoughts on a sheet of paper and it ends up looking like a jumbled up mess (although I normally do this when I'm embarassed about something, not when my head's steaming). I think I really need to try the deep breathing technique again, because I normally don't put in much effort into it and resort to my immature ways

I just let her do her own thing and just shake my head and my my own business

I don't like losing control

Make them lose theirs. And then lay it in thick to them.

Lol I joke.

Just, walk away for a while.

Ergh, I do feel for you and in my experience I've just had to either let time pass and hope for change or leave the job

By destroying things.

Walk away

I just blow
I need to control it