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Behnamhb1999m No no, by family I just mean your father, mother and siblings!! They love you, they may have done bad things to you, but they have a natural love for you..
I hate to say this Behnamhb but not all dads and moms love their kids.. Not all brothers and sisters love each other.. Some of the most bitter rivalries happen between brothers and sisters.. Especially when parents play favorite with their kids in an attempt to get kids to do what they want.. Some really toxic stuff goes down in some families.. Some siblings never talk to each other again once they leave home..
I think it really depends on what they have done to you.. Me personally, I can never tolerate it when people make fun of me.
You're correct that being mocked and denigrated is harder to face for some then being physically beaten..
Another twist is that some people who have faced being bullied and insulted end up being very good at cutting other people down in the same way.. They learn early how to have a tongue like a razor and use it..
I end up feeling alone and angry inside, which really grips me for years, turning into grudge.
Yep that can and does happen.. But the tragedy of that is when an injustice grips you for years your mind re lives that moment that incident over and over and over and over again.. It's as if you where not just abused once, it's as if it happened 50 times.. When ever you start to dwell on past bad memories you need to somehow, in some way stop yourself doing it all over again.. Try and distract your mind with something positive or constructive because your mind is trying to resolve the incident. To make it end better. But unfortunately your mind cannot change the past..
This makes me think I have to do something and make them pay the price...
I don't know if you actually understand me.
Oh i understand only too well.. You want to do something to the other person to make them realize that abusing you comes at a huge cost.. You want the offender to suffer for what they have said or done to you so that in the future they will think twice about ever messing with you again.. You want revenge too.. And that's normal human thinking..
As a believer in God i trust that God will not allow anyone who has hurt me to get away with it in eternity. He will avenge me. I pass that offender over to the judgement of God mentally.. Now they have to get right with God if they want to be forgiven by Him for what they did.. Otherwise they will be facing a revenge far more terrifying then anything i could ever do to them in a life time of revenge..
But that's just me.. How i handle things.. How i am able to continue along in my life in this world.. Each person has to deal with their experiences as best as they can..
Such is life..