Is it okay to tell someone that’s mixed race that they aren’t really that race (read context below)?

I’m mixed...I’m often told I’m not really this or that and not gonna lie...it bothers me (doesn’t define or inhibit me, but yet- it sticks in the back of my mind). It makes me feel like I’m too light for one side and too dark for the other that neither are willing to embrace me as their own. Ppl don’t dare have the audacity to tell someone that’s mulatto that they’re not black so why is it okay for someone to say this to me? What do I say back?

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SarahAndSamantha · 51-55, T

screw all manner of 'gatekeeping'. You are who you are, you define it, not them. Not much pisses me off more than 'you're not REALLY (whatever) because of (whatever)'. Recently saw someone tell someone else they weren't really christian because they were okay with LGBT. Been told myself that i'm not REALLY trans because my boobs are small (yup, really).

I'd love to say don't let it bother you, but...hell with them!. Somebody elses opinion doesn't make you less of you.

What to say back? "Fuck off, doughnut!"

DecafD

@SarahAndSamantha this is very empowering- who is anybody to tell ME who I am. Thank you so much.

SarahAndSamantha · 51-55, T

@DecafD It took me a while to realize it. I was told I was or wasn't so many things growing up. It was an amazing feeling when I finally said "Yeah, I'LL decide, thank you".

DecafD

@SarahAndSamantha everyone tries to put us in the boxes that they, themselves don’t want to be put in.