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How can I stop living my life in fear?

Have been living my life in fear and paranoia for the past 7-10 years. Fear of my past mistakes, life, relationships and just living out my comfort zone.

[b]Past mistakes:[/b] I've gotten into many arguments with people in the past. Many of whom became good friends. Always afraid that some people might try to hurt me and/or my loved ones for our past encounters. I know it's mostly in my head.

[b]Life:[/b] I work as a graphic designer, been trying to move from my parents but they are so protective and afraid to let me go. It's getting to the point that I can't take it anymore and will just leave. At 30, I need to make a life for myself.

[b]Relationships:[/b] I've had the worst luck with women, ever since I was kid I was known as the ugly boy that girls wanted to be friends with but never wanted to date. I was often made fun of because of my appearance. Even when I tried to approach girls, they just did me dirty. As a got older, people say I glowed up. I now get attention from women but since I am not use to talking to women I am afraid to approach. Not to sound cocky, but if I had more confidence I would be in a relationship.

[b]Living outside my comfort zone:[/b] Due to anxiety and depression, I am afraid to try new things, do and go places by myself. I really want to save up money and backpack a few countries in Asia. I went to a community college so never really got the true college experience such as dorming, parties etc... I've never been to a bar, club, or strip club.

I know it's all in my head but I am at the crossroads.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
At 30, your parents do not control where you live. Breaking away from them is step one. Make your plans on your own; do not consult them, tell them what you've decided to do. And tell them the day you do it or the night before, not two months ahead. Move into an RV or a van if you have to--but move.
helenS · 36-40, F
@greenmountaingal 👍️🌷
kydflash · 31-35, M
@greenmountaingal Thank you, I have a friend in another state who has been urging to move there. He said I can stay with him til I find my own place and has a job waiting for me that pays more than I am making now.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
When I have the answer, I will let you know. Fear, like many things is just not in one’s head, it becomes imprinted on one’s nervous system if the experience/s that caused it is intense and/or prolonged. We become hardwired to fear. The only thing that I’ve found so far is to manage it, not eliminate it completely.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@Carissimi Thank you, I actually started working on that. Began doing and try things that I was afraid to do before. Usually I am not afraid to things, just afraid to do new things on my own.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
Has it helped?@kydflash
kydflash · 31-35, M
@Carissimi It most def has, Thank you.
curiosi · 61-69, F
Avoid doctors, they only want to medicate you and that stuff is pure poison. You will end up worse off in the end. This book is like an instruction manual for life. Read many times as it's got lots of good info.
http://siestakeybeachmeeting.com/index_htm_files/The%20Road%20Less%20Traveled.pdf
kydflash · 31-35, M
@curiosi Thank you, yeah I want to avoid medication. Like you said many times it ends up making things worse. I am trying things like meditation, working out, and just going for walks or bike rides to calm me down.
helenS · 36-40, F
First thing is: leave your parents' house. Move into another city. Yes it will be hard.

Find yourself a place where you can live without parental support.

You will find a girl later. Reach out for yourself before you reach out for someone else.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@helenS Thank you, planning to move to another state soon with one of my friends.
Well, you're half way there - you know your weaknesses and fears, you know who you are and what you want... That's more than moat people 👍

The next thing is - stop looking back, ypu can't see what's in front of you of you're looking behind.

Fear of the past is pointless - and you're in control of your decisions.

And one more thing - you will fail at some things - amd this is good - you learn little from success - but you learn heaps from failure... Plus... Every time it makes you Stronger.


So get out there!
Stuff up
Live
Fail
Laugh
Try
Enjoy
Amd experience what life has to offer!
💜
kydflash · 31-35, M
@BoobooSnafu Thank you for the advice. It helps a whole lot.
coary987 · M
You need to slow down buddy and not to think to much in the past think positive never negative and you will see a big difference I am sure.
Take care be safe.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@coary987 Thank you, will do.
coary987 · M
@kydflash always think positive never negative my friend.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@coary987 Thank you.
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kydflash · 31-35, M
@moviefan545 Thank you very much.
You have too much anxiety. See a psychiatrist and ask if an SSRI will help you.
helenS · 36-40, F
@quitwhendone Oh a medication. Thank you.
@helenS Right. It's a type of medication for anxiety and depression.
kydflash · 31-35, M
@quitwhendone Thank you, I kinda want to avoid medication, but will most def see a psychiatrist.
User41 · 36-40, M
Do they have this on audiobooks?

 
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