I really don't understand myself sometimes or the things I do. When faced with a decision that makes everyone happy, I don't take it.

A friend who I haven't seen in years and who I've missed was back in Chicago today and wanted to hang out, and she even suggested going to this new bar that I've been wanting to look at. And I was free all night. And yet despite everything being perfect, and that I really wanted to do it, I decided to completely ignore her and just sit around at home all night. I don't get it. Why did I do that. Why am I even here typing this now instead of going out to see my friend.