How am i to deal?..

life was never meant to be this... This was never what i saw as I grew up... What was I born into?...
What Is this place?... Why Is there so much pain?... Where is everyone? Who at these shadows all around me?...
This... Is not what life was supposed to be... There's no getting back everything thats gone, everything I saw, belived, even things I loved...
Why must I also walk in this place aimlessly with no hand to guide me through the darkness?... I'm afraid of the dark you know...