I lost my 14 year old brother 4 years ago and I'm still very much stuck in that moment. I've spoken to people about it but nothing helps. My heart just hurts all the time.
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Cry, grieve, write a letter and tell him everything you wish you would have. Read it out loud in a special place and then burn it. There are 5 stages of grief and you will pass through them many times in the grieving process. Cherish your memories and live in gratitude.