Should I put myself first before friends?

One friend I have is currently pregnant and going through a lot of things. I can't cope emotionally and mentally since I found out I was adopted last week or so. She's mad because I didn't reply to her update message today about her being pregnant and going through illness too.

I don't feel able to deal with her at the moment. Personally, I don't want support from anyone. My problem is something I have to do by myself, and the only way I can truly focus on myself is to take a step back, evaluate my life and decide the next steps to take. I am currently in therapy (started first session today), and it isn't going to be an overnight process to get over.

Should I be there for her, or should I put myself first?

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Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Right now your head is full of you. No surprise given whatever last weeks revelation has you thinking !
Plus the start of your therapy today. You have enough on your plate !
And you shouldn't feel guilty about that.

Your friend doubtless has family and friends she can rely on besides you.
Don't expect her to be sympathetic, pregnancy hormones are known make you behave somewhat erratically and unreasonable on occasions.
She'll get over it.

WishfulCreations · 26-30, F

@Picklebobble2

I do feel ashamed. I'm not coping, and i didn't want to admit that until a day ago. I do feel selfish.

Yes, she has lots of friends to support her. I've cut everyone off because this is not something, that i feel personally, that they would want to hear constantly. Plus i don't see them face to face.

My anxiety has been playing up since i found out and i dont want to be a downer on her happiness of having a child.

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@WishfulCreations Why do you feel ashamed ?

WishfulCreations · 26-30, F

@Picklebobble2 because i feel bad for not being there for her. I dont want to feel pressured into taking part in a conversation that I don't want to be in tbh. I know I'm being selfish, but if I don't address my issues now, they'll get worse over time

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@WishfulCreations Honey she's pregnant ! Not dealing with some life altering disease !
It's all about getting a sense of perspective.
She's lucky ! She has hers !!
Yours on the other hand is all over the place through no fault of your own.
There are times in life when your life will take precedence over anything else. Such a time is now.