Should I put myself first before friends?

One friend I have is currently pregnant and going through a lot of things. I can't cope emotionally and mentally since I found out I was adopted last week or so. She's mad because I didn't reply to her update message today about her being pregnant and going through illness too.

I don't feel able to deal with her at the moment. Personally, I don't want support from anyone. My problem is something I have to do by myself, and the only way I can truly focus on myself is to take a step back, evaluate my life and decide the next steps to take. I am currently in therapy (started first session today), and it isn't going to be an overnight process to get over.

Should I be there for her, or should I put myself first?

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Serenitree · F

You need to focus on your own thing first and foremost. It's not as if you just got a bad hair cut. This is a momentous piece of info you've received.

May I ask,
1st, why did they wait so long to tell you?
2nd, why is it such a difficult thing to hear?

Were your adoptive parents good to you?

WishfulCreations · 22-25, F

@Serenitree

I have no idea, i was told a few days after my 19th birthday.

It's difficult because i thought my birth mother was my sister. I was adopted by my grandmother. It's the situation that it happened in as well. I wasn't adopted straight after birth.

Serenitree · F

@WishfulCreations Ah. I see. I knew a girl, when I was a kid, who had a baby at 14, and her mom adopted the baby and that baby grew up calling her mom, sister, and her grandmother, Mom.

I feel that a child should be told this kind of thing very early on, so that they grow up with it as a simple fact of their life. My grandmother was adopted by her aunt, whom she called mom, and she called her real mom, auntie.