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What is love, and how can we learn to love one another more perfectly?

Humans are imperfect, therefore human love is imperfect.

Human love is all too often tainted, by arrogance, envy, resentments, thoughtlessness, hidden agendas, and sometimes just plain selfishness. Is love still real, with all those things getting in the way? How do we clear all those things away, and what exactly will we find when, and if, we do? What is love, at its essence?

I just remembered this quote, from Leo Buscaglia:


How do we keep our arms open? How do we keep our selfishness, and our insecurities, from taking over and causing us to grasp those we love too tightly? And what about when it’s time to let someone go?
in10RjFox · M
How do we keep our arms open? How do we keep our selfishness, and our insecurities, from taking over and causing us to grasp those we love too tightly? And what about when it’s time to let someone go?

Once we think deep and intensely, we can realise that none of our body part was made for ourself, but for another ...

We can never hug ourselves, but made to hug another...

We can never kiss ourselves, but made to kiss another ..

We hug and kiss a baby, because that's how we were made to kiss ourselves when love overwhelms us ... and we do it since we wish to be kissed or hugged at that moment... and we take the liberty to do so, since its just a baby and its parent's don't mind .. but what if the parent condemns the act or reprimands or retracts the baby ?

Aren't we living life the wrong way ? much against the wishes of the nature .. which created us for each other .. I mean what can be done on our own ? our eyes can see the whole of another, but not just even a little of ourselves (for mirror was man made.) .. which is when I observed that the worst invention by man.. was the mirror ..
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@in10RjFox That's very interesting. It's true, we can see others better than we can see ourselves, both literally and figuratively. And we can also give others affection much more easily. I think you're right, we were made this way for a reason. I imagine that those who are unable to love others probably can't really love themselves either.

And unfortunately, mirrors only reveal our physical (outward) appearance. We may see, by looking at our own facial expressions, a little something about what's going on inside, but all too often that is hidden, not only from others but also from ourselves.
in10RjFox · M
@TeresaRudolph71 you resonate well.. we all have the ability to think and understand and learn for ourselves. I found that the education system, deprives us of this and instead stuffs us with unwanted stuffs and makes us live artificially. Imagine this realisation happening to us during early stages of our life. Would we have deprived others the love and deprived ourselves in turn ?
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@in10RjFox Probably, yes. I think that when people brainwash others, they are probably brainwashing themselves too. I've had some good teachers, who were willing to entertain challenging questions. But some didn't. Some would humiliate and silence any students who challenged them. And yes, I think that when we deprive others of love, we are depriving ourselves as well.
SW-User
True love is a constant laying aside of self for the sake of another's needs to be the priority. It goes against what comes so naturally to us, for we are often selfish and seek our own desires and pleasure first. True love, in its purest form, is not only a willingness to die for that person as we often like to say, but it's also a willingness to live for that person....Daily choosing to be devoted to what is best for them, rather than what we feel like doing.
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@SW-User Well said! And I agree, we have to make that person the priority, whether we feel like it or not.
in10RjFox · M
Love is best when we don't pry into each other's privacy and overly dependent on one another. Like how we cant see anything when we get too close, love too is best from a distance. Matriage ruins love is for this reason as one takes too much control over the other thwarting the existence itself.

In short love too is best like intercourse, where withdrawl is a must. Else it becomes harassment. Many things come labelled as love. What love is but a mutual understanding.
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@in10RjFox I agree. I've been to many weddings, and one thing that strikes me is that usually, when the bride and groom light the unity candle, with their already lit candles, they usually blow out their own candles immediately afterward. I know this is only a symbolic act, but I think they should each keep their own candle lit, to show that even though they are starting a new life together, they aren't giving up their individual selves in the process.
mathsman · 70-79, M
Read Khalil Gibran on Love: http://www.katsandogz.com/onlove.html

He doesn't address all your concerns but probably helps reorientate your thinking.
Let me know what you think, please.
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@mathsman I just finished reading it, and wow! That really asks a lot of us. I'm afraid I'm not up to it, at least not yet. I still have too many desires, some of which will probably never be satisfied. I think I understand the part about being willing to be wounded by love, though. I've experienced that recently.

Thanks for sharing that.
mathsman · 70-79, M
@TeresaRudolph71 Ah, desires, we all have those I think. And some of yours never to be satisfied? Wounded by love, yes, me too.
But it was right to happen..
blazingrahul · 41-45, M
In modern times true love is difficult to get. Only physical love we see around us
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@blazingrahul Yes, our culture teaches us plenty about physical love. But not many seem to learn about true love.
blazingrahul · 41-45, M
Yea . All bout luxury life and lust
erosme · 46-50, M
Love it is more than a feeling, it is giving yourself.
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@erosme Very true. It's really more a choice than a feeling - the choice to give of oneself.
Those are good questions, I do not know

 
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