Why should i keep wanting to live without my spouse ?

@Cutiepi23 im going to a grohp theraph session at 6:30 for alcohol, depression and bipolar. I bave about 55 days sober even through stressful events but lately its been bad emotionally

@ElPhonse
congratulations you have done really well so far. One day at a time till you get out of the darkness. That's good you have a group therapy session if that's what helps you. Drinking never solves anything you already know that .....it a temporary fix.
I'm so sorry for your sadness I hope you get through it all and get back to a point where you have the strength to look forward to happier times.

@Cutiepi23 the grief has nearly paralized me. It burns.

Regret. Disbelief. We were together 23 yrs. She was even my best friend.

What stage of grief are you at or think your at... denial, anger, bereavement, depression, then lastly acceptance which your are definetitly not at yet. People can also go back and forth on these for a while. It doesn't just smoothly go from one to another. I have experienced grief badly also. I didn't have your particular health condition or took alcohol. However it did make my health go down hill so much and I barely went out. I am over it now but it took a while. I hope you get through it to.

Im not in denial because i know shes not coming back but im refusing to accept being alone. Ok, maybe im in "refusal of acceptance"