What do you really see when you look at yourself?

@popmol Don't say such things.

@SW-User miss i'm quite negative against myself but whenever i try to fix myself it get worse and i can't handle it any more

@popmol I'm sorry 😞🤗

@popmol You have to find a way to handle it.

@ZenKitzune thank you! i hope i'll not back fire in my future but i'll have to see about that.

@popmol If it backfires, just pick yourself up again, dust off and keep walking ahead.

@popmol I made a concerted effort not to say bad things to myself and am finally getting out of the habit now. You really have to watch what you say to yourself.. You can be your own bully. Often you're just echoing the words of some abusive person in your life.

@SW-User i can't handle stress and sudden change. my first week of collage is just over and the stress and change bring out the worst in me since i'm a stresseater. but the greatest devil in my life is my father who always know how to ruin the moments that ifeel good to then start eating again loosing focus on training what i now have no time for, giving a severe depression in a house where hypocrisy is real becasue you may talk about everything and we'll have a lovely debate or discussion unless its about something he doesn't like or my sister doesn't like. i'm suffocating and i'm mentally fucked, i'm swaying to ask my psychologist for pills and antidepressant. certainly now that the winter is coming uup increasing the chance of me becoming down for several months again.

but don't worry i'm currently feeling quite emotional but in a couple of hours or minutes it'll be over and i'll hold on till next time when i feel mentally insane and emotionally unstable

@SW-User i can try! my doctor said get a dog but i'm not sure if i could care for it.

@popmol I hope this vent has helped. Take it a day at a time and breathe.

@ZenKitzune probably my dad , he calls me trash i'm a fat bastards in his words but i do think it about myself, i often think should the world be better without me and should i never have been born. the answer always seem to say yes it would

@popmol the problem is with him, not you. The world needs less abusive shit, not less of you.

@SW-User i'll try! i'll always do what you tell me to do. because the internet seems the only place where i could vent or be myself at times.

and thank both of you.
i jsut need set up my mental barrier forget all this happened use my autism to make sure i'll be able to and listen to some music and it will be fine for a while

@ZenKitzune well my mother loves me but also looks a me like a disappointment, me and my sister can't connect on any level we hate each others gut. since i was the last one i do might have been a mistake

@popmol what you need to do is get away from him, it's taken me the best part of 4 years to stop my exs voice from playing in my head, calling me useless.. Telling me I'll never make it alone. It's poison but it can be fixed x

@ZenKitzune seems unlikely. its almost a part of my being.

@popmol whenever someone says that word to me I tell them not to be so sure.. Unlikely happens all the time.

@ZenKitzune which word?

@popmol unlikely

@ZenKitzune well maybe :(