Goodbye. Since I can't say it to his face (toxic shit, nothing to see here)

You were a bad guy. You did bad shit. But you were so good to me. I knew who you were but experienced who you could be and a saw myself getting attached. I wanted to hear your voice before I went to sleep. I wanted to see your face when you told me you were good. Everytime you checked in on me I felt secure. Like somewhere in the world there was someone who could keep me safe. That was really all I needed. But I can't let myself fall in love with you. I'm already to deep in like and no matter how much potential I see it means nothing if you don't see that for yourself. If it was just me I probably wouldn't gaf. But maybe that's why God made sure I had kids when I met you. Because they need better from a role model and a father figure. Not some other guy to come and show them all the wrong shit.... No matter what I think, I have to believe what you say. So now I have to say goodbye. To the safety that I found, to the care and genuine loving man that I found, to the friend I found. I have to say goodbye even though I don't want to and it hurts like shit. I'll have to try not to think of you at night or first thing in the morning. I'll have to tell myself it's not my business if your okay. I'll have to miss hearing the end of your story, I'll have to stop myself from calling you to let you hear some new songs or poetry im working on. And I'll have to let you think that I don't want to be with you because right now there is just no way that I can😭😭😭 Goodbye.