I Have Thoughts That Keep Me Up At Night
How do you balance prudence with living life to it's fullest?
I just got back from a date with a charming and handsome man today. This was our first date, but we had done activities together a couple times before and when we talk on the phone, he's one of the few people that can hold my interest for hours without it seeming like many minutes had gone by at all.
Anyways, during the date, there were several opportunities to display physical affection. We were walking along the waterfront together, we went to a local art gallery, and we walked around downtown to see the sights. Sometimes our hands brushed together, and I would quickly pull back, afraid that I might've appeared too forward. After he walked me to my car, we hugged, and I was afraid of lingering too long. I didn't want to appear "too easy" or like I had no restraint, yet at the same time I wanted to be myself... whatever that entailed.
Long story short, I ended up returning to my car without a kiss (which is what I wanted), but somehow it also felt like an opportunity missed. I am proud that I stuck to my morals. I never kiss on a first date, that's weird to me. But at the same time, I always wonder if the guy will be scared off by my passiveness. It's not forever. Just for now.
We'll see how it goes.
I just got back from a date with a charming and handsome man today. This was our first date, but we had done activities together a couple times before and when we talk on the phone, he's one of the few people that can hold my interest for hours without it seeming like many minutes had gone by at all.
Anyways, during the date, there were several opportunities to display physical affection. We were walking along the waterfront together, we went to a local art gallery, and we walked around downtown to see the sights. Sometimes our hands brushed together, and I would quickly pull back, afraid that I might've appeared too forward. After he walked me to my car, we hugged, and I was afraid of lingering too long. I didn't want to appear "too easy" or like I had no restraint, yet at the same time I wanted to be myself... whatever that entailed.
Long story short, I ended up returning to my car without a kiss (which is what I wanted), but somehow it also felt like an opportunity missed. I am proud that I stuck to my morals. I never kiss on a first date, that's weird to me. But at the same time, I always wonder if the guy will be scared off by my passiveness. It's not forever. Just for now.
We'll see how it goes.
31-35, F
