Wht got you thoughts of self harm or suicide?

A long terrible relationship where mental ilness was a factor, my appartment been taken over and me not knowing what they are doing to her. Realizing her life had been destroyed and there was nothing i could have done. The government constantly draining my money so i cant move forward. Years of isolation due to ptsd. Loosing most of my family. My name being slandered to the point noone trusts me. Years of drug abuse and recovery. . Being so alone and misunderstood that nobody understands anything i say let alone survive a week in my mind.But theres no time to be a pussy. I got to walk it off because noone is going to care until i fail so they can point and laugh.