Struggles & Identity

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When you ask someone how they are, do you really want an honest answer?

Also, how are you? Don’t hold back.

robb65 · 56-60, M

Yeah. I have an online friend from about ten years ago. After years of not really talking she suddenly started messaging me again, When I ask how she is I get everything's ok. It feels like something has changed but I can't quiet work out what.

What really pisses me though is a friend who wants to know every little detail of my life but then tries to keep me in the dark about their life. Never again. If you want that kind of friendship it's a two way street and I'm not gonna dig and pry to figure out how you really are.

Today I'm good. I went to visit a friend and finish up a project we started months ago. Her husband is in rehab and she wanted to have everything done when he got home. I didn't realize things had gotten that bad with him, but last week I thought I was messaging him and it turned out she had his phone. I only learned he was in rehab when she called from his phone.

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@robb65 That would feel off. I hope that your friend is really doing well and there’s nothing to be concerned about. Hopefully she knows that she can open up to you if she feels she needs to.

Oh yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever experience anything like that but sounds really strange. It can get weird when people ask too many questions.

Oh wow! That’s must have been a real shock. I hope that his recovery goes well and that she is able to get everything done that she plans to. It’s wonderful that you can be there to help her!

robb65 · 56-60, M

@WanderingThrough Apparently in just the last few weeks he had skipped work a couple of days and spent the day drinking. His wife didn't know until he came home with a jug of vodka and walked right past her, and passed out on the couch. By the time he came around she already had him an appointment with a rehab center and had called the company where he worked to let them know he would be MIA for a few weeks. I hope it works out. She seems to think he knew it was time to get sober.

calicuz · 51-55, M

Well, given that asking that is done cordially, then the response should be cordial, and not used to dump one's baggage on someone.

I'm fine, thanks for asking. I'm just waiting for it to warm up a little so I can go wash the car.

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@calicuz Oh! I can’t wait until it’s warm enough here to wash a car! Have fun!

calicuz · 51-55, M

@WanderingThrough

God, I can't wait for summer!!!

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@calicuz I feel the same!

BiasForAction · M

I’m bored. Rainy day and I’d like to do something socially-/ meet new people

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@BiasForAction Maybe you can find somewhere to go to meet some new people. ☺️

BiasForAction · M

@WanderingThrough done! Sports bar

Trekker · 51-55, M

When I ask, I look for an honest answer but don't expect it. If I ask, I'm genuinely wanting to know. I'm also an introvert so ..

I'm doing good 😊. A bit depressed the last two days but it's mostly the weather. And that girl I dated reaching out to me but... That's okay. Hope your day is going well!

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@Trekker I hope that things change for you in the coming days! Hoping your depression lessens and that many incredible things happen to bring you true joy!

Jackson711247 · 36-40, M

Yes i want to know how they are. Thats why i ask. Im doing good i have my health and strength. Just tired didn't sleep well.

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Jackson711247 · 36-40, M

@WanderingThrough yes had somethings on my mind. I kept tossing around. Aww thank you sooo much. How are you by the way ?

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@Jackson711247 You’re welcome!! I’m doing quite well! I had a nice day, finally got to spend some time at home getting things done, so I feel like I was productive.

Jackson711247 · 36-40, M

@WanderingThrough thats great you got a lot done and was productive. I actually had a good night of sleep 😴. Well that makes me happy you had a nice day. 😊

StraCat · 41-45, M

Always. Especially since so many don't want a real answer.

I'm better now. Feeling tranquil.

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@StraCat Most seem to be happy with just hearing people say that they are fine. I say “fine” as a default too often when people genuinely want to know. Recently, I really opened up about something and it became a really positive time of sharing.

Tranquil is a wonderful feeling! I hope that feeling lasts.

StraCat · 41-45, M

@WanderingThrough I'm glad you were given the space to open up and speak your heart. It really makes a world of difference.

Thanks so much. Here's hoping lol.

ExperienceDLT · M

When anyone asks me anything on here you will get an honest answer most of the time bluntly and brutally honest

SW-User

I’m very tired and also a bit down. How are you?

ExperienceDLT · M

@SW-User what u down for?
You better get back up again

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@SW-User I’m feeling really good today, super relaxed and enjoying the first day at home in a long time. I hope that you start feeling better soon! SW is an interesting please, it can either cheer you up or being you down - I hope that you can find some things to bring up your mood. ❤️

SW-User

@WanderingThrough yeah just knackered I think! Sounds great-enjoy your day 💜

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

I am well and yes I want people to be honest with me when I ask as to their well being.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

I like a honest answer also. But I am doing good

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@smileylovesgaming Im happy you’re doing good! I hope you day is a positive and encouraging day for you.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

Dep NDS on whom. If I really care about their answer, and can help, I do.

Neoerectus · M

If they answer, great. Otherwise great. Sometime folks share.

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

If [i]I[/i] ask how are you then be sure about it. I almost never do that.

likesnatural · 70-79, M

For real friends, I want an honest answer because I care about them.

sexyjigsaw

I truly wanna know how they are

TexChik · F

I wouldn't have asked otherwise.

JohnOinger · 41-45, M

Im great

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@JohnOinger Typical for you. ☺️

therighttothink50 · 56-60, M

how are you?

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@therighttothink50 I’m alright, thank you! Feeling really relaxed and calm today. How are you?

vetguy1991 · 51-55, M

Not bad here

val70 · 51-55

No, not really. I made the mistake in the past to answer the question truthfully, but got only a reaction that I was way too self obsessed

Morrigan · F

Well I dont always ask this question, a simple hello works just as well, but when I do I really do want to know

Nanori · F

I do if it's someone I've known for a whiiiile

Nihiless

Depends who they are but mostly no. 😂

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

When I ask I want the truth but I feel most people do not.

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iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@WanderingThrough I just give the standard “I’m good” because I am not going to share that I am in pain and hurting because no one cares. It’s all just pleasantries.

WanderingThrough · 31-35, F

@iamonfire696 That’s sad, I genuinely hope that people know they can really open up when I ask them how they are doing.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@WanderingThrough You’re very kind 💖

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