Struggles & Identity

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Where do you find Value?

Often in life, we’re told we should do this or that, be or enjoy certain things. A lot of times that doesn’t fit with who we are.

We are handed a set of values as we grow up in a given society, sometimes these values conflict with our experience or the way we think.

Outside of what society messages us, where do you find your value?

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

I struggle finding my true essence, self, or worth. But one thing I do enjoy is easing someones life even a bit. I find value in kindness. Holding a door, listening, or offering help...little things that mean a lot.

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

@ZulXeroth Yes I have explored it... many days I feel do I have an identity? People say in order to give, you need to love yourself first. I get stuck because I question do I deserve love?, Its hard to move past the notion Im being selfish if I give to/ put myself first🙁

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@Coralmist if you’d like to talk about it some, feel free to PM. I really struggled with self love for many years over having a history of suffering abuse, which can be a really sensitive topic.

Just know that you DO deserve kindness and love, and it’s ok to accept it when it’s offered.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@ZulXeroth Thank you Zul🦋

Wallflow3r

Taking care of old people. 💜👩‍🦳

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Wallflow3r

@ZulXeroth It just makes me feel good helping out someone with simple tasks that they can't do on their own anymore. I feel like my purpose in life is to improve the quality of life for others and to me that's my motivation.

Abstraction · 61-69, M

@Wallflow3r People like you make life meaningful. Full stop.

Wallflow3r

@Abstraction 🤍

caPnAhab · 26-30, M

I find value in the things that I make. Because they are a piece of me. I have much an interest in art and music, movies, books, videogames, etc

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ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@caPnAhab you ever paint the figures? I know you mentioned painting is a bit expensive to get into, just a bit curious if you’d ever given the small scale painting a try.

yeah CADD means Computer Aided Design Drafting, usually these are engineering programs (personally I use Fusion 360).

caPnAhab · 26-30, M

@ZulXeroth I've painted a few, I usually just buy them pre painted.

Nice, I wish I knew more about computers 😅

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@caPnAhab dude the most productive thing I can do with an excel file is use the search function or stare at it 🤣 3D printers are a bit pricey to start off with though, unless you get a good refurb somewhere. CADD I had to figure out myself too, YouTube helps when I want to do something but am not sure how.

gdon39 · 41-45, M

I believe in a value proposition for so very many many aspects of daily life.

Essentially you choose how you see value much differently as you live and your perceived value may intensify or change completely by a simple act or example witnessed.

@ZulXeroth you had my attention when you asked about value. I’m just sharing my thoughts and opinions.

🖖🏻

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@gdon39 ok, I dig this answer. Would you share more with us about your approach?

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@gdon39 also wanted to add that I like that this reads as a very integrative view.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

In what I give.

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Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@ZulXeroth Not anymore. I know when to give to others and when to give to myself. The benefit of aging. You become more self aware.

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@Queendragonfly definitely get that. And sometimes you really have got to keep your energy for yourself. I think it’s definitely important to explore and set healthy boundaries, just as long as we aren’t turning our boundaries into barriers.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@ZulXeroth Well said.

Steve42 · 56-60, M

Not in anything of this world. This is a pitstop on the way to a better place. Love your neighbor as yourself. Everyone is your neighbor.

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

permanence

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Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

@ZulXeroth there is no point to something that ends unless it continues to exist in some way

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M

@Jackaloftheazuresand can enjoyment not be found in fleeting moments? Is that not of some worth?

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

@ZulXeroth enjoyment is as worthless as the things it might justify so it is a redundancy

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V00doo

Time with my child

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