For all those that fear rejection ..
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
Jia Jiang was on a mission to be rejected for 100 days. All he had to do was ask tough questions — like, can I have a hotel room for free? Can I loan $100 from you? — receive a no and, mortified, walk away, for more than three consecutive months. It might sound masochistic, but it’s quite the opposite — it’s called Rejection Therapy, and the idea is to build up one’s resistance to receiving the “no”, to smash through the fear that stops us from chasing our dreams, big and small. One clinical psychologist told The Guardian the concept was, in his view, the ideal treatment for social anxiety. Jiang came across Rejection Therapy in his 30s — he was a senior manager but had big dreams of developing apps. The fear of being rejected, however, had frozen him in place. So he delved into the program.
On day three, he walked into Krispy Kreme, asked for a doughnut in the shape of the Olympic rings, and readied himself for the embarrassment of the “no”. But it didn’t come. The worker sketched the design and gave him his sugary interlocking quintuplet 15 minutes later, free of charge. He posted about the interaction online, which quickly went viral, and he went on to write a book and give a TED talk on the power of embracing the “no”. Jiang says we often expect the worst, but everyone is actually a lot nicer and less confrontational than we think. In chasing the “no”, Jiang played football in a stranger’s yard, had Santa sit on his lap, and taught a class at college. “When I finished teaching that class I walked out crying,” he says. “I saw I could fulfil my life’s dream just by simply asking”. When the “no” does come, Jiang says, it’s good to remember it’s not a report card on who you are. “It’s just an opinion”.
Hoping you’re brave enough to risk rejection today, folks.
Jia Jiang was on a mission to be rejected for 100 days. All he had to do was ask tough questions — like, can I have a hotel room for free? Can I loan $100 from you? — receive a no and, mortified, walk away, for more than three consecutive months. It might sound masochistic, but it’s quite the opposite — it’s called Rejection Therapy, and the idea is to build up one’s resistance to receiving the “no”, to smash through the fear that stops us from chasing our dreams, big and small. One clinical psychologist told The Guardian the concept was, in his view, the ideal treatment for social anxiety. Jiang came across Rejection Therapy in his 30s — he was a senior manager but had big dreams of developing apps. The fear of being rejected, however, had frozen him in place. So he delved into the program.
On day three, he walked into Krispy Kreme, asked for a doughnut in the shape of the Olympic rings, and readied himself for the embarrassment of the “no”. But it didn’t come. The worker sketched the design and gave him his sugary interlocking quintuplet 15 minutes later, free of charge. He posted about the interaction online, which quickly went viral, and he went on to write a book and give a TED talk on the power of embracing the “no”. Jiang says we often expect the worst, but everyone is actually a lot nicer and less confrontational than we think. In chasing the “no”, Jiang played football in a stranger’s yard, had Santa sit on his lap, and taught a class at college. “When I finished teaching that class I walked out crying,” he says. “I saw I could fulfil my life’s dream just by simply asking”. When the “no” does come, Jiang says, it’s good to remember it’s not a report card on who you are. “It’s just an opinion”.
Hoping you’re brave enough to risk rejection today, folks.
