I've been there before, tried in my early 20s and I instantly regretted it so much. It's my only regret in life that I tried that. I realised deep down I didn't want to die, I just wanted things to be different and didn't see how.
Change takes time, an accumulation of decisions, but it is guaranteed. If you're willing to go to one extreme just go the other way, if you have nothing to lose you have more power than most people.
Join a martial arts gym, say fuck it become a new person, possibilities are endless. That's literally what I did, I didn't like who I was so I changed it, took time but I did it.
Write down everything you want your life to be, write what you don't like, write how you can get there, write short term achievable goals and do them imperfectly.
I promise your life will be different in a year or two.
Chin up buddy you'll be okay
