The thoughts and exhaustion are so hard.
I have a list that I keep on my mirror. It started with only about three things and is now close to 50. They are not things that guilt me into staying like family, friends, or disappointing others. They are weird…watching the seasons change, the feel of the grass or sand under my feet, the smell of hamburgers on the outside grill, the sound of the owls I hear at night, waiting for a new book from my favorite author or the way I feel listening to my favorite bands.
Like I said, weird, seemingly insignificant things.
I wish I could say paths light up and become easier. It’s more like walking down a sidewalk with street lights…we can walk a while seeing ahead until one or two of the lights are out. But, even when we have to really strain our eyes and move forward feeling the uncertainty in the dark, there will be lights working further down.
I’m sorry the streetlights are out for you right now. Just know you are not alone and so many others struggle this path.
