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I joined a meetup group on another site, and a few guys individually welcomed me and one of them went more in depth. Asking about myself, telling where he's from, what he was doing that weekend. I did say I have chronic anxiety to him, right up front, about meeting one on one rn. That's why I'm attempting at least Joining a group, nevermind actually meeting up, yet.

He had wanted to chat on phone within a week so I said I have anxiety on phone too, I'm working on it but could we chat here for a bit. He said no worries, taking it slow is good, but that it's important to grow in friends or more, on phone. I have not replied. I don't want to lead anyone on for a one on one meetup. But OTOH, he was kind and seemed humorous too. Should I reply? I *think* he's looking for dating. I just don't know what to do. Like I said he did seem like a genuine person.
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Starcrossed · 41-45, F
He likely is looking for dating but I'd reply even if you're only interested in friendship. Just keep your boundaries and go/no go, not ready fors clear.

Perhaps start slow and stick with what you're comfortable with- right now emails/texts. Then G rated pic sharing to see who you're each talking to, and then maybe short voice notes. That is how I've sometimes overcome so my own social anxiety.

If you get along well, and enjoy each other's camaraderie I'd imagine you'll naturally work your way up to phone/video chats then meeting in person because you'll want it more than the anxiety? Even if all you [or him] end up wanting only friendship, or only ever email/text but never speak or meet, a good friendship is worth it, but you'll only find that if you engage back.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Starcrossed Thanks, appreciate your reflective reply. 🌺