Romance scams... they're not just for women.

Met a guy on a gay dating site last month. We shifted over to Telegram because he is "an American dentist on an international contract in Germany. He was robbed, so I sent him $500 for food. He decided to come home to the US, so I covered his $1650 in airfare. He video-chatted with me tonight - only, no video. Just sound. His thick German accent really came through as he kept saying he couldn't get home unless I sent him over $10,000. And, at that point, I cut him off. Now, I sit here about to cry because of how hurt and lost and ashamed I am.

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IronHamster · 56-60, M

It's geting worse. I used to be able to tie up scammers with conversation, knowing every minute they spent trying to scam me was time they could not spend on someone vulnerable. Now, AI bots give a scammer the ability to have a thousand conversations at a time.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@IronHamster And dating sites are for all intents and purposes now entirely filled with fake bot- and AI-generated 'female' profiles. You get zero communication until your will to stay strong breaks and you pay to 'upgrade', then you suddently start to get hit with a flurry of spam contacts that look so sus it's just like email spam but worse. Dating sites now in 2025 are nothing like dating sites from 10 or more years ago.

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IronHamster · 56-60, M

@zonavar68 Oh. And never pay for the upgrade. It actually reduces your chance of getting a match.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@zonavar68 Oh, I am sure yopu are right but the rot started years ago with telephone-dating agencies even though genuine, not criminal gangs. As I found, and abandoned after only two attempts.

The internet just makes things easier.

The telephone services were genuine, and legal, but all at premium-rates. The telephone company took its normal commercial-number fees from each call but the surplus went to the number-owner.

They started with a soothing recorded message ten to fifteen minutes long before playing so much as the first ad.

Also of course, trying to choose your potential soul-mate meant listening to many advertisements you could not refer back to, if Number 3 seemed better than No.7 but at least No.13 did not live two hundred miles away. You'd have had to start all over again!

This nonsense ran up such a massive, unexpected premium-rate bill for me that BT suspended my access to the agency until verifying the call was from me, not someone using my 'phone without permission. The operator was very helpful and asked if I'd like the bar lifted or left in place.

I chose to leave the bar on; and have never attempted to use any dating-agency since.