I Pretend I'm Okay

It's a great loss. It's a loss if you didn't even like your spouse. If you did, it's just this side of unbearable.

It's been nine years for me and eighteen years for my best friend, and I believe of the two of us, I am doing better. When we knew he was dying my husband told me if I wasted time mourning, he would find a way to come back and kick my butt.

One can't NOT mourn, but there does come a time, for me at least, when the passion to live outweighs the sorrow, and we go about life again.

Nobody but you can know when that time comes.

I relate to you. A lot of people ask me how I am out of pity towards my situation (I lost my brother) and it’s sad that I have rehearsed a line to perfection. A line that makes people think I’m so resilient and strong and brave and blah blah blah. Because that’s what they always tell me after I finish my little theatrical play.

It’s hard to take the mask off even to my family who feel the same pain as I do, but I can’t bring myself to open up. So like always, I wear my mask and read my lines and pretend I’m peachy.

[b]Yes I can imagine you develop that protective mechanism, it's probably necessary because most people who ask clearly don't really want to know. It's sucha shame we have to do that but I am sure it's not uncommon. I wonder if sometimes, just sometimes you might just say to someone who seems to be being polite, how you feel, it doesn't do to cover it up too much and some of them might be more willing to listen than you think.
I am sorry you have had to go through what you have

I think the reality is you may never fully be okay because a piece of you is gone. I haven't gone through it, but watching my mom go through it and express her feelings has opened my eyes. I think it's okay with telling only those you know are close to you or who truly care. Loss of any kind is not easy ... and sometimes we all have that piece of us that will never be okay again.

Sorry for your loss.

So sorry for the loss.

I totally understand this and am sorry for your loss.