I May Act Like I Am Not Sad When I Really Am Sad

lost the love of my life today but not actually today but today on friday night and we stopped talking for 2 days now ....so story begins we met online and was chatting for maybe about a month or less anyways i really fell in love with this man ...the first time in my life i ever felt this way bout anybody....i saw my whole life with this man my babies and him coming home and me being a wife and taking care of him ..taking his children to go see him at work i just saw everything with him in a flash of a millisecond ......then that bastard said we can only meet after 19 may cos his sister is getting married and he is so busy ....but i dont understand how busy he could have been when we had a public holiday the other day and he was off at home he could have met me then....bastard ...then i got angry with him cos he was confessing his feelings for me but still dont wanna meet...so i knew i was crazy about him and i really wanted to be with him and he was telling me that he wants to be with me also but thats just were we got stuck and we cant take it any further until we meet and he decides if he wants to date me ....so on that day he confessed his feelings fro me and then he disappeared for the whole day after that and i didnt know the electricity was off and his phone died....nevertheless i was really frustrated at the situation cos like i really wanted to be with him and i dont think he understood that and i was just really frustrated at him for not making more effort, he dont phone call video call only text and its hard to talk to someone like that. it was putting me in emotional turmoil so i lashed out at him and it just blew up into something so big and massive ... i did apologize after that and he didnt say anything he stopped talking so also stopped talking but i apologized so nicely i sent him songs and gifs everything and he didnt even respond and i left it ... but we never talk 2 days and i messaged him today and he never reply....so know i dont know if he is still interested in me or we are over and he will never talk to me again ...and im really sad cos i lost the love of my life ...and i told my mum but i pretended that i was all ok but i know in my life that i lost my love.....I pray and hope that he will contact me .... if he doesnt i just have to accept it and move on and focus on my career right now and try and get myself out of this country that is killing me and making me more frustrated than anything else.... and try and find my mr right again...sometimes i just think its better to commit suicide and die and end all this miserable suffering ......aaaaahh I miss my love my guppy the only man that gave me energy and never took energy from me

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Jogadnbyt

Ah that is sad, internet or not feelings are still real, hope he sorts himself out and you two can be happy

Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

Phew.. that feels pretty raw right now.. and I totally get you loved him.. I am going to be painful and play devils advocate a bit now and recognise you may not be ready for this..

Ok so you shouldn't have got mad.. that almost never helps.. but.. it does seem like he had a lot of excuses, no phone, no electricity.. and his sister getting married.. but....

I would wonder about the never talking only texting.. the not wanting to actually meet...

It's possible that this guy wasn't really who he said he was.. perhaps he was married or with someone.. which might explain no vid calls.. and not wanting to meet..

I am sure you did want to be with him.. i am fairly certain he understood that.. but what we don't know.. is whether.. when he said he wanted to be with you.. he really was free to offer that... or wanted it..

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Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

@joahola98wj couldn't agree more... the constant excuses... not allowing voice/vid calls was odd... and a few other things too.. the point being that online offers so much more opportunity for people to not be honest..

joahola98wj · 31-35, F

@Adaydreambeliever I can see both sides. Online can also make people be more open about themselves. It's easy to disclose secrets and personal information that we wouldn't want strangers or some people we know to know

Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

@joahola98wj that's true too.. some people will use the online connection to be who they really are, things they cannot show the rest of the world.. in some ways that's an exaggeration too.. but others, sometimes for quite unkind reasons will lead people on.. quite often married men will pretend to be free.. will even want that feeling of falling in love, having a new partner who they feel is better and more ideal than the one they have.. (and dont get me wrong married men are people too and they have needs and feelings).

Sometimes there really *are* good and valid reasons why someone can't call, vid call, and why they cannot meet.. or commit.. however.. when there are a lot of excuses and always an excuse.. there can be a reason.. if he were too scared to meet, that's possible but even that's a lie in the way if he kept saying he wanted to meet but didn't...

We don't know as you say.. but there are some pretty strong clues there that all wasn't quite as it seemed..