I Have Insomnia

Something very troubling. I have felt to blame for my father's suicide. I was 5 months short of 4 years old when he killed himself. Before that event, the home was in turmoil. I've felt it was my demands as a child, my needs, that pushed him over the edge. So I grew up without a loving father too. Perhaps this is why I have the self esteem of a stone, where players make a bee line for me, and I cannot sleep well, have insomnia