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They're taking away All my vices...

First, whiskey, now beer.
Can't smoke .
Can't fish or shoot, or ride,
Haven't been able to go outside for more than a couple of hours.
I can't take photographs.
I can barely write.

Sold my favorite gun to a friend yesterday.
Hell, who am i kidding, I'll never shoot it again.




What's left of me?
My heart. My soul. 💓🙏
My words, forever captured within those that cherish in their hearts 💕

Called 911 and was taken to ER yesterday by ambulance? Pain so bad i couldn't get out of bed. Couldn't walk.
They finally gave me some wicked drugs.
Now on a decent, humane, pain management schedule that requires monitoring.

MRI scheduled for upcoming Wednesday .
Maybe surgery sometime in September.

Peace be with you all,
Live long, And prosper.
But for now,
Vaya con Dios.🤗❤️🙏😇

To Quote Poe; "Never Bet The Devil Your Head."'

When you've reached your limit, You're at the end of your rope,
And you've absolutely reached rock bottom,
And given up all hope,
Your demons are winning,
And there's no end in sight,
You're exhausted from the struggle,
And you've given up your fight,

It's there,
At that very place and time,
That you reach out for my help,
And put your hand in mine.
Let me pull you out of your deepest pit,
Enough is enough, it's time you said, "THAT'S IT!"

You can't do it alone,
And God knows you've tried,
The doctor's can't help you,
And all you want...Is to die.
You're tired of the helplessness,
You're totally fucking done,
There's no fight left in you,
Your demons have won.

I kiss you softly, and wipe your face of blood and tears,
I tell you that I love you,
And take away all your worries and
Fears.
I hold you tightly, vowing to never let you go,
If you just take my help, my trust,
We can beat this I know.
To Hell with those demons!
They can't challenge LOVE!
I'll be you're Savior,
If you just let me in,
I'll never leave you,
If you let me carry your sin.


-Montana.🥺
Top | New | Old
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
I hope you get better my friend and honestly that breaks my heart I have a dear friend kind of going through the same thing right now. I told him if you ever need to get away he's more than welcome to hit my spot. I wish you nothing but blessings recovery and your former life back. Even though I am not physically in the same situation the government's trying to do the same thing. I feel your pain head up and stay strong brother
Please stay as strong as you can because by no means are you alone. Many of us like myself are no longer who we were back in the day. Had my fair share of ER trips / hospital stays.
And as you journey on I wish you well, and a solid recovery.
We’ve shared comments/photos and you are not forgotten by this member of SW. Hang tough!!
Sapio · 51-55, M
I'm sorry that you're going through this. Whether it be surgery or whatever it takes. I hope that you get better soon and hopefully can get back to doing some of the things you love. You're a good dude!
Montanaman · M
@Sapio Thank you 😊 🤗
shakemeup · 36-40
I am sorry. I have seen a few people go through a loss of self when they are unable to do the things they once enjoyed. It must be incredibly hard. Mixed with the frustration and depression of being in pain and fighting for recovery must make it feel impossibly hard.

For anyone in such a situation, I would say:
You are still the person who you are and will always be that. The people who know you will still remember you for who you are and that you enjoyed those things... but also now perhaps they see qualities that weren't in the spotlight before. There is a different kind of strength and patience in recovering from something debilitating and in the strength of adapting to a new normal. Empathy for yourself when you accept help. Perhaps They'll learn that it's ok to be frustrated and express it appropriately. They will see that and learn from it. You'll enjoy lesser hobbies or maybe learn something new. Or try new drinks. This makes you more of yourself....not less. People will learn more about you, not less. You are still shining as yourself even now.
Even though it may not always feel that way.

Good luck! Praying for your recovery!
Montanaman · M
@shakemeup thank you. You brought a warm smile to my face tonight. 😊
I really needed that 🙌 😌 😇🙏❤
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
Sorry to read this. Sending you positive thoughts and vibes. Hope you’re better soon!
Praying for you, brother. Get well.
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
OMG! What happened?
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
@Montanaman I don't know what the doctors are doing but I hope it works out well for you.
Montanaman · M
@Nitedoc waiting on my MRI which is aon this coming Wednesday. 👍🤗😇🙏
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
@Montanaman Oh, I see.
mooncrest02 · 31-35, F
Im sorry this is happening. I hope you feel better soon, i miss my moongazing friend and I hate that youre in any pain. 🥺🤗♥️
Northwest · M
Is this a country song?
Montanaman · M
@Northwest definitely could be!👍😫🤪🤭
Pretzel · 70-79, M
Hoping for you...peace
RubySoo · 56-60, F
Quimliqer · 70-79, MVIP
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
Hope you get it taken care of and back to normal soon Montana!
Secretsmile · 51-55, F
I truly hope you can soon be pain free. That is my wish for you 🥰
Montanaman · M
@Secretsmile Thank you 😊 🤗 still dependant upon my oxy to allow me a few hours of peace. My spinal infection seems to be responding to the daily antibiotics infusion. Prayers 🙏🤗
Secretsmile · 51-55, F
@Montanaman I have been on oxy for a while now and it’s the only peace I have. Since I broke my arm I can’t even lift the coffee pot. It’s horrible and I feel useless. But we will be ok.👍 🙏
BuzzedLightyear · 61-69, M
prayers, brother
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
So sorry to hear this, I hope you feel better soon.

 
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