Something is so pleasurable about pain, hard to pin point.

@Eklipse really when you get accustomed to a certain kind of feeling you get addicted to it.

I guess over time i got addicted to it and now not having that is agony. Indeed mental agony is brutal but not knowing you are in agony, does it not fail the definition of agony?

@Mystical How can you not know you're in agony? To be agonised you got to feel some kind of "pain" either in your ego or in the physical but one of them has to happen.

The opposite of that is numbing yourself to avoid having a major breakdown usually. That's how I know it at least.

@GeistInTheMachine indeed but an empath find it challenging

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays not in certain ways you think but once you go down on this spiral boundaries are blurred