Feeling so sad and broken

I'm lying here in bed and remembering how it used to feel when my husband was at the side of me. I felt peaceful and comfortable and safe. I can't believe I'm never going to see him again. It still feels like he's with me in lots of ways because my heart remembers how comforting and safe I felt before but now all I have is pain because I know non of that is real, it's just my brain playing a cruel trick on me. It's just it feels so real. I can almost feel him, touch him and smell him. But I know he's not ever coming back and that can't ever happen again. I feel like I need to somehow explain how much I lost when he died but I can't. It's too much.