Struggling with grief today

And it’s complicated
My partner passed away in Spain
It’s been so painful
To wait for the repatriation process. He isn’t even home.

So I’m trying to grieve with his family.

I learnt something new about grief
Tonight iv had some kind support here thank you.


But in general in my friends and relatives circle etc grief isn’t popular.

People don’t want to be a part of it
They want to be there and they are trying and I appreciate it

But it’s hard

Very hard

I want people to tell me about their problems so it will take my mind of it.

I’m starting the think that when people say time makes it easier to cope with

What they mean is

The grief (and I want this grief) will stay but over time
I will learn to live with it because it will never go away.

I never thought about it before living my carefree life.
How suddenly everything changes.

From trivial to not caring about much anymore.
And trying to make sense
He’s at peace
He is with me in spirit
God love his mom my rock and the strongest woman I know. Her pain I can’t imagine.

Her only son

My George

I feel like I will have to accept this pain now as a permanent part of me which is also something I don’t want to lose because it’s a reminder of how much I miss him. That he was mine. That our love was real.