this coming across my feed today, the exact day i last spoke to my mom three years ago

except i wasn't there for her and i let her down. i came by to do laundry late, spoke to her on the phone to say i forgot the detergent and she said it's okay- i can use anything i need any time. she said she'd be in bed and i thought that was weird but i never went up to check on her. i did laundry for hours and kept thinking to go up and say hi but i didn't. i watched a show on her couch using her netflix where the protagonists mom died suddenly and i kept thinking i need to be more present for mine but i wasn't. for days i kept wanting to text her pictures from the adventure i didn't tell her i was going on to get out of the nightmare living situation she didn't know i was in. i said i would show her in person when i tell her i'm moving.

then she died.

and if i went up to see her maybe i would have seen how sick she was. and if i texted her maybe she would have said something. and maybe i would have told her i love her, because i don't think i did on the phone asking about her laundry detergent