Compulsive liars literally lie about things that don't even matter to anyone and it's infuriating. I'm not sure confrontation would do any good bc honestly they often also believe the lies they tell and will run when confronted or worse.
Odds are if you mention it he's going to act like hanging out for the little time he was there was all he could do and that he did SO much for you by showing up just to ditch you. And "how dare you think he'd fake an emergency" 🙄 or something. I guess... It depends on how willing you are to go toe to toe with them realistically and call them out. Mind you they WILL have their friends lie to back them up if need be, so be prepared 😔
Odds are if you mention it he's going to act like hanging out for the little time he was there was all he could do and that he did SO much for you by showing up just to ditch you. And "how dare you think he'd fake an emergency" 🙄 or something. I guess... It depends on how willing you are to go toe to toe with them realistically and call them out. Mind you they WILL have their friends lie to back them up if need be, so be prepared 😔
Nightwings · F
It's so weird that he would keep saying that he'd be around anytime, even after he faked an emergency once. Why would he do it again? I don't think I'd trust him enough to bring it up, because what do you say when he denies everything... I think it will just be awkward... If you're considering cleaning the air between you to feel better around him, I'm afraid it will end up having the opposite effect. Like I don't know obviously, maybe he's different now since it's been years, but if you really do want to bring it up, how about doing it subtly? Like talk about how something happened to a friend which will remind him of what he did back then, and if you end up vibing and are having a good time while on the similar topic, maybe he'll decide to open up about it? No idea how exactly that would go lol, but maybe you have an idea yourself since you're the one who knows him. I think he prefers indirect approach despite stating the opposite lol, and probably only talks truthfully with people when he's feeling a connection. If he ever does. I would either do that, or I'd leave it in the past, but I think this method might be the surest way to establish a good relationship with him. Maybe he felt shy and didn't know what to day once he was actually staying at your place? I guess there's always room to give someone the benefit of doubt, as long as you don't end up getting hurt again. This approach may lead nowhere, but is probably less likely to damage the relationship further, if that makes sense?
Frostcloud · F
@Nightwings i think you're right that he very well may deny everything which would a.) be awkward and b.) i'd probably get kind of upset lol. i've kind of indirectly mentioned it when i talked about a friend saying how they were one of the few people who were actually there for me but idk. as much as i want to clear the air i don't think it'll work out
Nightwings · F
@Frostcloud Yeah. I can only say if it was me, I would not like cut him out of my life forever or anything like that, but he would probably just be someone I'm related to, but not exactly friends with. For what it's worth I basically have no family either (just a mother and stepfather, that's literally all aside from my husband), so I know how much it sucks. It's just not worth it if the guy is going to be like that anyways. /=
Musicman · 61-69, M
You can, but it's super rare.
That's odd ...why waste your time ?
Unless you think it will make you feel better ...other than that it seems pointless
Unless you think it will make you feel better ...other than that it seems pointless
Frostcloud · F
@Chern0bylplaygr0unds it could make me feel better. it might not depending on their response. it's a gamble fr