and the other one sleeping in the cabinet under the sink lol
but dang all this crying made me realize i don't wanna go to my ex besties wedding!! i've been really on the fence about it bc despite everything i will always love and miss her. but when that girl wanted a puppy i was like idk bro probably not a good time for one. she was like ehh i want one anyway and she seperated it from its mom too early and completely neglected it. i worked overtime every day, cleaned up after her dirty unemployed butt, cleaned up and cared for a nightmare puppy i didnt want. paid her rent. begged her for help. dealt with her lying to me. dealt with her being mean af to me. dealt with her not being there for me when my mom died suddenly- even though i dropped everything to be there for her when her dad died.
it took me literally years to get over the hurt and resentment of bawling myself to sleep every night wondering why i wasn't enough for her. why i beg her to take care of her demon puppy and she refuses and get mad at me for it. why i have to work 16 hours then come home to clean the dookie stains she leaves behind while she goes to clubs and concerts. it hurt so bad because i wouldn't have done that to a stranger, wouldn't have done that to my enemy, let alone do that to someone i spent ten years loving with all my heart.
and like girl i love you still. i want the best for you. i'm sincerely so happy things worked out with the guy that got you pregnant. but maybe you're best left in the past. even though, sometimes, i like to imagine we reconnect, too.
idk. i think if she called it would have been a different outcome. if there's one thing i'm gonna do is forgive time and time again. one call, one conversation, and i'd come back undoubtedly. but maybe not over an email invite. maybe if she wasn't mean to me while i paid her bills. maybe if she took basic care of the puppy i asked her not to get. maybe if she was even kind of there for me when my mom died
I don't understand how someone can treat another person this way. She sounds heartless, sorry, I don't like to badmouth anyone really, but it upsets me just to read that. Please don't be her friend again, because I don't see how she can ever be the friend that you deserve. And after all that, how can you ever trust her to be there for you, even if she changes how she treats you. There are so many amazing people in the world who would have been there for you during that time, so going back to her just seems like a huge mistake. I hope you feel better soon, so sorry that you're so sad right now. 💔
