If you could have done the one thing?
Daydreaming and lost in music...and there is one thing I wish she did before she died.
See the ocean.
She never went to one (raised in Illinois and lower/poverty income).
As an adult she never wanted to take us kids to the ocean for fear that we would drown or be eaten by sharks (I mean..pretty valid since there were four of us, varying ages)
About a year before her terminal diagnosis, she actually said she considered retiring to Destin, FL. That was a shock to me, I don't even think she had a definitive reason, she just said "Destin" and I was all about that. She had since come around about beaches, and said it might be nice. She loved to read. Reading on a beach would be her heaven.
That was June 2023. She Died May 2024.
In December 2023 I told her I that I would look at the weather during the coming summer in Destin and pick a day to go. We are only about 8 hours away by car.
I had planned on just playing it by "weather" ear. We both had weekends off. So I thought I could just check the weather in the area each weekend and find a time to go.
She had no money to put towards a "trip", and I also didn't have much.
If we had done the trip, it would have taken literally every monetary thing we both had.
But now I wonder.......would it have been worth it?
What do you think?
Looking back now.... I still don't know. STILL. My mind argues both sides. We still had great memories outside of the ocean. She was a great mom.
I think it's just that I remember seeing the ocean for the first time as an adult at 28 and......... It really is epic. I had no idea.
I wanted her to feel that.
Epic.
It was only 8 hours away.
I wish I gave her those 8 hours.
See the ocean.
She never went to one (raised in Illinois and lower/poverty income).
As an adult she never wanted to take us kids to the ocean for fear that we would drown or be eaten by sharks (I mean..pretty valid since there were four of us, varying ages)
About a year before her terminal diagnosis, she actually said she considered retiring to Destin, FL. That was a shock to me, I don't even think she had a definitive reason, she just said "Destin" and I was all about that. She had since come around about beaches, and said it might be nice. She loved to read. Reading on a beach would be her heaven.
That was June 2023. She Died May 2024.
In December 2023 I told her I that I would look at the weather during the coming summer in Destin and pick a day to go. We are only about 8 hours away by car.
I had planned on just playing it by "weather" ear. We both had weekends off. So I thought I could just check the weather in the area each weekend and find a time to go.
She had no money to put towards a "trip", and I also didn't have much.
If we had done the trip, it would have taken literally every monetary thing we both had.
But now I wonder.......would it have been worth it?
What do you think?
Looking back now.... I still don't know. STILL. My mind argues both sides. We still had great memories outside of the ocean. She was a great mom.
I think it's just that I remember seeing the ocean for the first time as an adult at 28 and......... It really is epic. I had no idea.
I wanted her to feel that.
Epic.
It was only 8 hours away.
I wish I gave her those 8 hours.
