Whose Loss Is This, Anyway?
The problem with feel-goodism and clichés thrown at grief is that they are not adequate to stop pain, and often hurt more than they help.
And people should care; they should not want to cause pain because they felt the need to say something, anything, and, not knowing what to say, blundered into something meaningless.
Yes, I forgive those who do so unintentionally, but what I find abhorrent is when you explain how you feel, they get defensive, whose loss is this, anyway?
So, anymore I just nod my head, and they go away thinking they helped when instead they have made fresh wounds.
What is meaningful is a simple sorry for your loss, holding their hand, letting you cry on their shoulder, and accepting their grief is not to be solved by a few feel-good words; it has to be endured and pushed through.
It is okay to acknowledge pain and to cry with someone; why don't we know this?
Instead, we often try to fix it so we don't have to "deal" with it.
And people should care; they should not want to cause pain because they felt the need to say something, anything, and, not knowing what to say, blundered into something meaningless.
Yes, I forgive those who do so unintentionally, but what I find abhorrent is when you explain how you feel, they get defensive, whose loss is this, anyway?
So, anymore I just nod my head, and they go away thinking they helped when instead they have made fresh wounds.
What is meaningful is a simple sorry for your loss, holding their hand, letting you cry on their shoulder, and accepting their grief is not to be solved by a few feel-good words; it has to be endured and pushed through.
It is okay to acknowledge pain and to cry with someone; why don't we know this?
Instead, we often try to fix it so we don't have to "deal" with it.
56-60, F
