"There are graveyards full of people who thought they had more time"

My mom never even saw the ocean.

I only first saw it when I was 28 or so.

It changed my perspective on life.

So vast, so beautiful, so natural. Ebb and flow. The sand in my toes.

It was beautiful.

She always said she never took us to the ocean because she was scared we would wash away.

I don't have kids but I can understand. It is vast and unwavering. Sometimes violent. Unpredictable mostly.

Before we found out she had cancer, we were planning on going to Destin, Florida.

She said she wanted to check it out. Once all the grandkids were over 18. When she felt like her job as a grandma was finally somewhat complete.

I was supposed to take her there.

I wanted to show her.

She never once got to "retire".

I waited too long.

Waited until I "had the money", waited until "the perfect weather".

But a drive to Destin, wasn't so far. A hotel, wasn't so much.

I could have.

Now, I will never see her again, not ever. She will never see the ocean.

I really hope that death is the peace that follows after life. The sun, light, warmth. A peace that comes without ever needing to see the ocean.