Part of me wants to live again the other part just wants to close all the doors and stay inside .

I don't know if this is progress ,regress, or just a normal part of the grieving process.

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FreddieUK · 70-79, M

We sometimes just have 'to be' and not worry about 'normal' or anything else. Each person's grief journey is unique, but there will, I hope, be at least one person who will be alongside you on the way to support.