Six Months 😔

A few more days, and it will be six months since my husband passed away.
I cannot believe it's been that many months ago.
I haven't adjusted, and not sure I ever will.
Right now I don't want to.
It's too lonely and heartbreaking to pretend that I am okay.
I will muddle through it and be glad when I can put all the fake gaiety of Christmas behind me.
Not celebrating the New Year's at all.
Never did celebrate that very much anyway.
There will come a time when things are not as painful as they are right now, but that is not now.
I think it's okay not to pretend and admit to one's feelings.
Everything this year is for the grandkids, perhaps next year I will feel the joy of Christmas agian, but this year I mourn what should have been.

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PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

It's been a year and four months for me. At times I feel almost normal, other times the smallest things trigger me, the flashing lights of an ambulance, one of his favourite songs on the radio, a random stranger wearing his aftershave or even my neighbours car headlights cause my brain still wants to think he's coming home. I just want to say be kind to yourself. Ask for help if that's what you need, let yourself feel sad, cry if you need to cry. Grief is bitter sweet in some ways, we were lucky to have loved so deeply. The pain now is evidence of how deep that love was. Hugs to you xx