Just remember you shouldn't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm

Guilty here. My wife died last week without us ever working out any of our issues. I've been trying to explain that to some people who said they were there for me. I kind of got mad when they automatically took her side without even understanding the point.

Of course I'm sad. Of course I miss her. You don't live with someone for 31 years and not be sad or miss them when they go. But just because they're gone doesn't mean they've never done anything wrong.

The gist of this post is spot on. It's too bad people dont understand this

I would define my boundaries...I am not a lightning rod of other's anger....I am nor a punching bag...Once that has been established then we both can continue forward. And they can express their raw emotions freely, I will not judge, and I will listen, and as for me personally I would point them in the right direction to Jesus, asking God what is His will in this? Reading the scriptures together perhaps using a concordance looking up grief, and anger and searching the scriptures on those experiences together? Laugh together and sometimes cry together! God bless your future friendships...

i cycled through the 5 stages when i lost my only daughter. i know this very well.

Well said!!

That’s all we can do, listen to them and trying to show them sympathy.

If you are highly empathetic it's easy to get sucked into that spiral.