Dear Daddy

Mom picked up your ashes today. It feels better that you’re home.

We’re going to pick out a flower arrangement from all of us tomorrow. I’m going to take mom to lunch and spend the afternoon with her.

I feel numb but can’t stop crying at the same time.

We pick up Reagan Monday. I miss his reagie hugs and snuggles. I hope he’s not driving you too crazy up there demanding you throw the ball ❤.

I just miss you so much, Daddy. Nothing feels real right now. You are my anchor. My voice of reason and calming words when I’m upset.

I’m so tired right now. Like no amount of sleep will cure it. It’s just been too much. Grandma, Aunt D, Brandon, my sweet Regan and now you. It’s like I can’t catch my breath this year before the next tragedy hits.

I need you now like I’ve never needed you before and I feel you with me but I need you. Here. Now. I want to call you or just drive over and I find myself forgetting so often and reaching for the phone.

I have to stop now. I have to stop writing now. I need to calm down.

I love you, Daddy.