Sometimes I get depressed when I think about my anxiety not getting any better. I thought putting myself out there would make it go away lol

I have the chattiest job ever for someone like me. I’ve shown myself that I can push myself and do things, and yes, I’m impressed with how far I can go and how much I can push myself, but anxiety doesn’t magically go away after doing all these things unfortunately.


I watch people around me do this job so effortlessly while I’m just managing and it gets to me sometimes.

I’d like to be in the moment like the rest of them. I’d like to have things im comfortably working towards other than managing my nervous system and surviving.


“It gets easier” maybe by like 1 percent lol.

Maybe i’m pushing myself too hard and rushing the results and lately just comparing myself to those around me that don’t have a grey cloud of anxiousness following them around.

I don’t know how to stop doing that without isolating myself further.


Anyway people are working towards there goals annd focused on the task in front of them and I’m fixated towards figuring myself out and fixing myself and wondering how things are going to end up for me.

Drinking isn’t even fun anymore, cause it’s not to party and have a good time, lowkey it’s to manage something, I can’t even enjoy alcohol normally like most people.



I’m worried for my sister because she’s like me just even worse with not wanting to leave the house lol



I actually kind of appreciate having a worldly problem right now. Hopefully worrying about something normal like my car acting up will distract me from myself and what’s invisible to everyone else lol.