Why does it always seem like whenever me and another person get into a fight or whatever everyone else takes the other person's side?

Why does it always seem like whenever me and another person get into a fight or whatever everyone else takes the other person's side and I get punished worse than the other person while the other person gets to walk free? And this can apply to both real life and online arguments.

I know this is a very personal question based on the context of my personal life and not something that can be answered quite objectively but I'm still curious. It's like everyone takes the other person's side right away without even wanting to hear my side of the story. Like in the mental hospital when getting into physical fights with other patients suddenly the fight turned from 1 on 1 to like 3 or 4 people versus just me. Or online even if me and another person are equally rude I get banned and my content gets removed but they don't get banned and their content stays up.

I just have no idea what could be so wrong with me that everyone automatically sides with literally anyone else but me. I'm curious for possible reasons why that might be.

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Zaphod42 · 51-55, M

Maybe you should reflect on what the common denominator is there 😉

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@Zaphod42 I'd say the common denominator is I'm unlikable with no charisma according to most people. Not someone easy to root for. I probably come off as the weirdo or the villain or both.

DareToSayIT · M

Let’s leave the online part and talk about real life. I don't know you or how you usually react, but do you get ragebaited easily? If you show visible anger and frustration, it becomes a major point of judgment against you.

Also, in real life who is this coming from? It sounds like a tight group of people who already know each other and have collectively decided not to like you. It’s highly unlikely you’re picking fights with random strangers in Times Square and turning the whole city against you. This kind of behaviour usually comes from a close-knit group trying to compete with you.

Honestly, you need to find a new crowd and start over.

Magicianzini · M

Are you male? This is usually just enough.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@Magicianzini Without getting into all the LGBTQ+ gender struggles I deal with then yes I'm biologically male.

The other people I argue with are both male and female.

Magicianzini · M

@EzraIsShy76028 That's enough a lot of time, but indeed do read my other response. You also may be targeted for being a member of that "community". Unsure what's going on here, but I do feel your frustration. You also want to solve it. That's good.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@Magicianzini Yeah I already read and responded to your other response.

I present as an average regular man in real life most of the time so I'm not sure if the LGBTQ+ stuff is the reason unless people can sniff that out by nature but my mental illnesses such as schizoaffective and borderline personality disorder are much more severe than any of the LGBTQ+ stuff.

Yeah it is indeed frustrating and I want to solve it.

GoFish · 41-45, F

how often are you getting into fights and are you starting them unnecessarily? eh?

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GoFish · 41-45, F

@EzraIsShy76028 have you been to anger management classes yet?

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@GoFish Well yeah. Progress is SUPER slow and stead, baby steps, but better than nothing. Same with therapy in general.

GoFish · 41-45, F

@EzraIsShy76028 ok also depends on the therapist too they aren't all equal

nonsensiclesnail · F

its probably the manner in which you communicate.
not all fights are won and right and wrong.

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EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@nonsensiclesnail You are correct. Time and intention indeed. Yeah observing others is always a good help. Definitely good advice which I'll be taking.

EzraIsShy76028 · 22-25

@Magicianzini Fed up and perplexed sounds right. I do not try to be a negative spirit at least. I do have somewhat of a code even if it doesn't exactly align with most people's.

Yeah it does kinda feel like I'm persecuted. As someone with severe mental illnesses such as schizoaffective and borderline personality disorder and others society just doesn't really give a shit about people like me and treatment is super expensive. I kinda wish my parents aborted me.

Yeah I suppose it will indeed make me stronger.

And yeah never give back negativity. I gotta make the right choice.

Magicianzini · M

@EzraIsShy76028 You do have a heavy trial. Key is to avoid the self-pity trap as much as possible if you are amongst the persecuted. It will harm you.

Personally, I'm grateful you and people like you are alive. Life would be boring if everyone were the same. It's not about me though.

Mental health treatment shouldn't be expensive at all. That's one of society's ludicrous chapters. But you do what you can to persevere. It's good you have a code. That will help you a lot.

Just keep making the right choices and do the best you can do. That's all any of us really can do.

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