Struggling because I'm agnostic

My dad is in hospice and it's not far away now that he will probably pass😕 It's heart wrenching seeing him miserable, and now it's affecting his mind and cognitive abilities. Yet I hope for any amount of time for him to last a bit more

But I'm really struggling trying to accept his nearing passing. I used to be religious growing up but about a decade ago I became agnostic. I wish I could truly feel his soul is going to a Paradise and Heaven. I think I wouldn't feel as frightened. But I don't know what will happen, I feel angst and helpless on him leaving me and Earth. Have you ever felt this???