How can you stop People pleasing?

I just read a quote online that says in order to build self confidence, we need to stop self doubt, stop trying to be perfect, and stop People pleasing. HOW do you stop trying to please others? I've done it for YeARS, it is just absolutely a default for me. Think of others first was engrained in me very young. (or else I was selfish, or a 'bitch'). How can you stop actually people pleasing, I often wonder???????

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easterniowegin · 51-55, M

Yep, "No" is the way. Stop caring what they might think or say. Stop worrying how they will be without your help.

Stop being the 'goto' person.
It doesn't help add value to you as a person...it just gives ppl an opportunity to take advantage of you.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@easterniowegin I think I long for people to see me as worthy (b/c i never ever was growing up into adulthood)... so I feel if I don't 'do' for them, or please them, they will see me as worthless, or 'bad',